My Small Garden Paradise: Past and Present

The advent of what is now known as TBT (Throw Back Thursday) has prompted me weekly to share changes that my garden has gone through the past several years. It has evolved as I have. Neither my garden not myself are the same as we were. I feel a kinship with the space I call mine and I feel that we have grown and transformed together. While the basic fundamentals are the same, there have been embellishments as well as setbacks that have led us both to where we are today; imperfect but beautiful all the same. Let me take you through some of the changes...

Spring 2008

This was a year after I began my garden. The spring before I had come home to a huge box in front of my steps. My beloved arbor was inside. No note, no idea where it had come from.It was the impetus I needed to continue working on my garden, in memory of my dear son ,Ryan. In 2007, still mourning his loss in August 2006, I found myself outside most of the time...I hastened to fill the hole in my heart by using my hands to create beauty to fill that hole. My faith had been shaken and through the days, weeks and months of digging, planting and creating, I found my faith again. The addition of this wonderful arbor helped me on the path to a stronger faith and a new love for creation. This was also the year I planted my Crepe Myrtle, to give me a constant reminder of my loved ones in Wilmington, North Carolina; most of all my dear Nan and Pop.

Spring 2009

I have no photos of my arbor other than this one in 2009. There has been a progression and my beds continued to expand. At this point I was working full time again and I continued to find solace in my garden after work. What others would view as work here, was enjoyable for me and continues to be a way for me to decompress after a stressful day. I started to add little ornaments to my yard, too, to provide visual interest. The pair of garden frogs to the right were a gift from my neighbor across the street who loved to look out of her kitchen window to see my garden. Gifts such as that are always very precious to me and reinforce my determination to make my garden a place of beauty.

 

 

Spring 2010

The year 2010 was a big one for my garden as well as for myself personally. As my garden was becoming more established. I, too, was gaining a level of confidence that I had not experienced before. I still struggled from depression, but I had come through the tragedies of my life a stronger person. I was providing for my family well and I had the freedom to do pretty well whatever I pleased. You see, I had lived without my husband by my side for over eight years. Long story for another time, but during that time while he was away, I learned to do things on my own. I learned  that I could. I had survived losing him, my beloved house and my son, all within a five year period. I had tried to remain close to my hubby and we worked hard at our marriage during those years apart. But now would be different. We would be together again. I felt so many things, among them excitement, trepidation, concern about dealing with his health issues, the list went on. My garden and my faith gave me the strength to take it one day at a time. Both of us had no idea what the future would hold; but again, we evolved together.

Spring 2011

What a difference a year makes and I learned many lessons by this time in 2011. My garden was thriving and my marriage was intact. While there were some bumps I had never anticipated; my garden and I grew together. It was still a period of adjustment; I cannot say that things in my garden or in my life were perfect, but we were taking it one day at a time. Again, my garden helped me through a huge transition in my life and I found myself there when I felt discouraged or disappointed in my expectations for me as well as my family. I learned humility in many ways. You can see how my garden has grown.

Spring 2012

The year 2012 was a rough one for me and my garden. In March of 2012 I had to have a hysterectomy.  My uterus was 3 rimes its normal size and filled with fibroids. When they operated on me I had a pint of blood in my abdomen. I had suffered through pain unlike any I had ever known and was on the mend through the Spring. My garden called to me but it was tough going. The work I had invested in planting perennials paid off in a huge way this year. My garden was beautiful in spite of me not being physically able to do more than the basics of watering and tending. It was this year that my garden taught me another lesson. To enjoy... Since I was limited physically, yet yearned to be outside, I noticed things that I hadn't noticed much previously. I saw butterflies and I had the pleasure of finding my first monarch butterfly caterpillars. I raised them to beautiful adults. I had hundreds of hummingbirds enjoying my garden as well. Because I was still, I got to watch them and learn so much from them. I developed a new appreciation for the phrase: Stop and smell the roses.. It was a turning point for me. I began taking photos in earnest and friends encouraged me to share those photos. I began a page on Facebook "My Small Garden Paradise" and I found that I enjoyed sharing with others. It grew slowly and I started it primarily to show my friends but it got me through a rough year. My garden became my friend in an entirely new way.

Spring 2013

They say that there is a rainbow after every storm and 2013 was a year when both my garden and I thrived. My marriage was good and my hubby and I were handling his ongoing issues with being bi-polar together. Our family was intact and we, along with my dear daughter, were establishing a rhythm. We were adjusting to a new "normal" without Ryan and being a family unit. My garden was also finding its rhythm. The perennials were flourishing and it wasn't necessary to add flats and flats of annuals each year. I began what has become known as my "hummingbird tree", filled with a dozen feeders for my beloved flying jewels.My page on Facebook began to grow and I found that the more genuine I was in my posts, the more people responded.  We added embellishments to our garden: wall art for the open walls of my home and solar lanterns to adorn my arbor. I posted photos daily.
My ingenious hubby added light and implemented many of my ideas. We worked as a team and although, we had our struggles, we were a family again in the full sense of the word.

June 3, 2014

Now 2014, a few days ago in fact, on the day my Ryan would have turned 26.. I have had ongoing health issues this year but my garden continues to be a source of joy to me. I pace myself now and since I am home for the moment, hubby and I have invested in some vast improvements for our garden. We have added hayrack planters to the railings and under some windows; we have added trellises to match the wall art on our home. Hubby has built shelves for me to use for some vertical space. Lights and feeders have been added to my now infamous hummingbird tree. Beds are being expanded and the garden has become a paradise to us. My Facebook page has grown to nearly 6200 likes and that combined with my garden has given me the confidence to follow my instincts and to learn to accept and love myself for who I am , complete with failings.I have begun to write again; this blog is evidence of my making an effort to do what I love most.

 My garden and I have changed over the years. We've had our ups and our downs, joys and disappointments. We continue to make improvements and I make sure to taker the time to enjoy what I have created here. My paradise is a haven for all things that I love: birds, flowers, butterflies and hummingbirds. There is evidence of creation everywhere I look and it makes me feel closer to my Heavenly Father. Together, my garden and I  have emerged intact, beautiful and prepared to face the years ahead with keen anticipation; faith strong...